The Silent Truth
Melanie now knows her mum was missing out on really bonding with her children and living her life to the full but while she was growing up Melanie was just frustrated at the inconvenience it caused her. Now that Melanie is experiencing her own struggle with early on-set deafness she has a different perspective.
This is Carol's daughter Melanie's story about growing up with a deaf mum.
Melanie O'Leary- April 2008
It's amazing how you don't realise how something affects someone until you experience it yourself. Growing up (and it shames me to say) I was somewhat angry and annoyed at Mum for being deaf. I had little patience when it came to repeating myself and I got frustrated when we could not have a simple conversation, like all my friends did with their Mums. What I hate most about these feelings is that I had no right to have this attitude. Mum was missing out on really bonding with her children and living her life to the fullest and I was just frustrated at the inconvenience it caused me.
Obviously, when Mum got the Cochlear this all changed. Our relationship strengthened and we became the best friends we always should have been: talking on the phone; having whispered conversations about our partners; and fighting over our opposing tastes in music. But always, in the back of my mind, I have this guilt of how I once treated my Mother and the lack of empathy I had for how her deafness dramatically affected her life.
I have now lost a proportion of my own hearing. And as the years go by I see just how differently people treat you. You are often left out of group conversations and people roll their eyes at you when you make comments on the topic and get it all wrong. I discussed this with Mum a few weeks ago, stating that I am beginning to withdraw from my circle of friends, clubbing and loud parties are out of the question and my once bubbly, outgoing personality is diminishing every year along with my hearing. She agreed this is what she went through and mirrors her reactions. She regrets not having explained to her friends in more detail what she was experiencing.
Although it seems I have a rather negative view on our family's hearing losses, seeing how much the Cochlear implants has changed Mum's life, I am actually excited by the prospects of how this amazing technology will improve our family's relationships and lifestyles.