Defensive for mum
When she was growing up Trudy felt terrible for her Mum because she couldn't hear. But at the same time she was embarrassed because she had to tell her friends all the time. This is Carol's story from her daughter Trudy Orduna's perspective.
Trudy Orduna with her daughter Ayla, mother Carol and grandmother - April 2008
One of the first memories of my Mother being deaf was when I was about 8 or 9. I had severe asthma as a kid, and we were visiting a friend of Mum's. This friend commented on how bad my wheeze was and asked Mum if she could hear it? Which Mum replied: "of course" but turned her head away with embarrassment.
Even as a kid I felt defensive for Mum, saying "it's ok, it's not that bad."
As the years went by my friends always thought my Mum was rude. They would ask her a question and she didn't reply. I would have to remind them every time, she can't hear you. Then I would feel terrible for Mum, and embarrassed about having to tell my friends all the time.
When I was 21 I travelled overseas. I would often call home, to tell Mum how much fun I was having or how much I missed her. But the phone call would always upset me more, as she couldn't hear anything I would say! I would be on a public phone screaming down the line, trying so hard for her to hear just one bit of conversation. At least I got to hear her voice, poor Mum only knew it was me, but barely heard anything I said.
When Mum told us about the cochlear ear I was all for it (but scared too)! What if it didn't work and her hearing got worse? How would that be then? Thank goodness she went ahead - what a result! For the first time she could hear me on the phone. When we had our first phone call, after hanging up she rung me back saying: "I could hear you!" I was so happy for her, I was crying myself.
Now Mum has had both ears implanted now and, her hearing is amazing. Our relationship has blossomed as a result.
I especially notice the benefits now that I have a daughter myself. When Ayla laughs, Mum can hear it. Seeing Mum hear her laugh is wonderful and heart-warming, as I know years ago she would never had heard that! I know also that Ayla will be able to share secrets with Grandma, whisper in her ear and Grandm will actually hear it. Something she never got to enjoy with us.
Now future Grandkids will be able to laugh and whisper with Grandma, and I know that will make Mum very happy.
I'm so glad Mum decided to have the cochlear ears done.