Leaving a World of Misunderstanding Behind
email: freiburg5@iprimus.com.au
Chad is an Australian recipient of the Baha. This has helped him regain his confidence in all listening environments. He was implanted in 2003 and is currently principal of Redcliffe Primary School in Perth. This is his story.
Published in Hear Always Newsletter October 2007
My name is Chad, a vibrant, friendly and understanding person…well, that is what I thought. To many people, colleagues and acquaintances, however, I was probably a snobby, arrogant and insensitive moron who thought nothing of snubbing others in the most inconsiderate ways.
How this inconsistent self-image came about is rather a strange tale of simple misunderstandings. I am deaf on one side. "Well what's wrong with that?" I might hear you say, if I strained hard enough and was standing on the right side of you!
The main problem with being deaf on one side is that you live in a mono world with great wedges of 'hearing shadows' where one ear doesn't work. It is a world where people complain that "you are only half listening" and they are right, and it is very tiring! It is especially tiring when just five minutes earlier, you understood them perfectly well, but what they don't realise is that they were actually standing in a different position during the previous conversation. People complain that you turn up the TV too loud: 'do you realise that you are shouting?' and 'I was talking to you for two minutes and you didn't even take any notice.' It is a world where people see that you have two good, sizeable ears but you didn't hear and that is annoying; where you smile where you should have frowned and you frowned when everyone else was falling over laughing, and that is really alienating.
My journey into the strange world of single sided deafness was very abrupt in the early nineties when my ENT specialist announced that I had a brain tumour on the nerve of hearing which had to be removed. I was relieved to hear that "the good news is that the tumour is benign" but alarmed by the sentence that "we need to operate and this will mean the loss of hearing in your right ear."
This was the beginning of a series of interventions both medical and social, which led to a gradual loss of self-esteem, social interaction and resilience. Before the loss of full hearing I had been an engaged, proactive participant in professional, social and personal activities. I consider myself to have been a witty conversationalist, an intuitive debater and an independent social operator.
I began to turn in on myself to avoid social embarrassment and personal frustration.
What happened over the months and years after the removal of the tumour and the immediate single sided deafness was that I had begun to turn in on myself in order to avoid social embarrassment or personal frustration and tiredness at listening but not being able to hear. I learned to opt out of situations where misunderstandings, background noise or multiple conversations arose. When I way 'opt out', I do not mean that I left those situations. I was there in the group but very 'absent' in the group and that probably made the situations worse. As I was actually there, I was gradually seen as a non-participant, morose and indifferent.
People quickly forget that you have told them that you do not hear well in groups…they see two good ears on a silent companion who not only does not hear, but also cannot even seem to read the body language of the others. Little do they realise that both these forms of communication really go hand in hand. The happier the group, the more animated the group, the louder the group, the more isolated I felt.
I lived daily with these situations for some eleven years when I noticed an article about Baha, a device which was providing a better quality of life for people like myself. I contacted the Lions Hearing Clinic in Perth and arranged to see Mr Marcus Atlas who in a matter of fact and friendly manner, explained the procedures to me, which included audiologist testing processes and medical explanations. I did not need much encouragement to go ahead right away with the implantation.
The medical operation was very short and sweet, with no pain or discomfort. Within a few days I was back at work and waited until the implanted titanium screw meshed into the bone. It was a very exciting time because I did not really know what to expect once the wait was over.
A few weeks later, after the Baha had been fitted, was an overwhelming experience. My wife suddenly realised that she did not have to consciously select the correct side to speak to me. Any side would do! I could hear no matter on which side she stood. Noises arrived from all over the place. I could see the car approaching and I could hear its engine. I could hear people approaching from behind long before they got there, so I was no longer startled by their approach or unwittingly got in their way when they wanted to pass. One sound I shall not forget with the quiet sobbing of my wife, who was likewise overjoyed by my new experiences as we walked home chatting effortlessly in the busy street. A new leas of a quality of life!
Having the Baha procedure has been the best decision.
I have now had the Baha for four years and have not, for one moment regretted my decision to go ahead with the implantation. I have not experienced any difficulties, with either the device itself or the care and attention required by the fitting. The whole process for me has been a great success.
In the meantime, I am able to participate in normal conversations and interactions with others. I have now learned the situations where I need to choose better copy mechanisms when some specific background noises can still be too interfering. Those situations are rare and I enjoy normal conversations. The effect of the Baha device has been to improve my relationship development and maintenance to an enormous extent, and this is extremely important to me.
I function very well as a full time school principal, and that is a noisy environment by any means! I ironically enjoy misunderstandings by students who say that they think I am a great teacher and a good listener, because I bend down to their level when they speak to me. Little do they know!
For more information about Cochlear's Baha device, please contact Cochlear or your local Clinics.
Published in Hear Always Newsletter October 2007