Catching the Curve Ball
Young, vibrant and alive, Sam was looking forward to the rest of her life when out of the left field came so many curve balls. Her story is how she caught them and threw them back.
I don't remember my 18th birthday. I can honestly say there was nothing memorable about the time leading up to it or immediately after it. What I do remember though is completely "cashing in" on being legal and not wasting any time building a career that would eventually see me back at the local Centrelink office handing in a dole form. I was going to enjoy being young, free and healthy.
I had many jobs since leaving school at 16 and the majority of them centred around the entertainment industry. I had worked for music retail chains and even tried my hand at Event coordinating. None of which I saw myself staying in for any length of time. As long as I had a bit of cash to pay my share of the rent and bills and enough to chip in at the rehearsal studios with the cover band I fronted, I didn't need career satisfaction.
It was while I was working for an Event Management company that I had the first real experience of my health being compromised. I stood up from my desk to walk down the corridor to the lunch room when I walked straight into the wall and fell on the floor. I clutched my head, as it was spinning badly, and tried to stand up. This lasted for a couple of minutes but then passed. It happened twice that day and then stopped.
In the weeks that followed, I was diagnosed with infected and impacted wisdom teeth and required immediate surgery to have them removed. This was organised and all went ahead without any major problems.
After surgery however, it was a different story. I awoke from the operation with my right ear blocked. Apparently, this was a side effect from the swelling surgery had caused. After a few weeks of extreme tiredness, sleeping and very little eating (I had lost my job due to illness) my ear was still blocked and I was sent to the first of the many ENT Specialists I would see over the following years. His diagnosis was simple, deafness of the right ear caused by mumps.
Deafness - caused by mumps.
Although this is not uncommon, it usually occurs in males. Blood tests revealed a positive result for mumps but I was assured my hearing was safe in the left ear. However, I was devastated. This meant a life adjustment I really didn't want considering my age and interests at the time.
I informed my band and put my singing days on hold while I rebuilt life and found another job. Given my music industry experience and my love of singing, I found a job relatively easily in another music retail chain and was soon the Assistant Manager. All was well for sometime until that same old head spinning landed me on the floor behind the counter at work. This time accompanied by vomiting and immense pain in my left ear. Initial diagnosis was severe vertigo and the possibility of brain tumour.
Once again, my world came crashing down. I had just met my soul mate, made some new friends and started singing again. I had moved into a unit with my sister, got myself a car on tick and racked up a credit card bill with my weekend activities. What the hell was I going to do? This question was soon answered.
The hearing in my left ear began to rapidly deteriorate and only somewhat responded to the high dose of prednisolone I had been prescribed. This cycle of treatment and hearing loss went on for years. Since I couldn't hold down a job. I filed voluntary bankruptcy.
I lost myself and wondered if it was worth living.
I lost my car, my friends and I lost myself too. It was a very emotional and deeply depressing time and sometimes I wondered if it was really worth living.
My ENT decided that steroid therapy should continue in order to keep my hearing from deteriorating any further and I was advised to apply for a hearing aid. I had to be constantly monitored and the aids upgraded to combat any fluctuation in hearing levels.
During these next few years I ballooned to 103kgs, developed severe depression, gave birth to my first son, tried numerous medications and still had not been given a firm diagnosis of my illness. The final straw was becoming so overweight from the steroid therapy that my bones were becoming weak.
It was around this time, my ENT Specialist decided I would be a candidate for a Cochlear Implant in my right ear. The plan was to be implanted and then weened of the drugs so nature could take its course. That course being, go completely deaf. This was an extremely tough decision. I hadn't held down a job since all this started, I had no money except for a disability pension and there was no guarantee that the implant would actually work.
I had to choose deafness.
Looking back now, there was really no other choice. I wanted to hear my son's first words; I wanted to hear my partner's voice telling me he loved me and how proud he was of me. After many discussions and tears, I went ahead with the surgery. Switch on came two weeks later and I couldn't have been more disappointed. Donald Duck's voice was now coming out of everybody's mouth. Over time though, a miracle happened. My partner's voice returned to normal, I heard the leaves dancing on the pavement as the wind rushed past and I heard my son say "I love you mummy" for the very first time. I could hear properly again.
Over the next few months I was weened off the steroids and was finally given a diagnosis. After infected wisdom teeth, surgery to have them removed, mumps and glandular fever my immune system had turned on itself. I now had Auto Immune Inner Ear Disease, a rare condition where the immune system attacks the ears as if they were a foreign object.
After this period of time and diagnosis I was deemed "stable" and life began once more. This was soon taken away by a careless driver who rear ended my car on a suburban street. I awoke the next morning, deaf.
My audiologist and new ENT Specialist decided that due to the phenomenal result I had from the first implant, I should have a second. This decision was so much easier and surgery was scheduled. Switch on came soon after and that all too familiar Donald Duck voice returned. It didn't stay for long and I was blessed with another miracle - STEREO!!
To this day, I still have the occasional hiccup with my ears but nowhere near to the extent of the past 9 years. I have two beautiful children who are hearing, a wonderful fiancé and a very fulfilling life. I speak on the telephone, listen to music, socialise and enjoy activities any normal hearing person does. One day, I hope to sing again (other than in the shower) and find a job inspiring others to keep going when life throws you a curve ball. But for now, I'm more than happy to hear my boys and fiancé say "I love you".