Living a new Life
No one knew Vivian was deaf in her left ear and because she had never experienced anything else she thought everyone heard the same way she did. It wasn't until she was nine years old that her hearing loss was discovered. This is her story.
My new life began in July of 2007, at the age of 42, when I received my BAHA from the wonderful Professor Gibson.
I was born with single sided deafness in my left ear and had, for 42 years, simply assumed this was something I just had to live with. For all of those years life was fine. I had learnt to deal with my deafness and convinced myself this was normal for me and nothing would ever change. Despite having been successful in my academic studies and building a senior management career, I always worked very hard to make sure I heard what was going on around me, not letting on there was any issue with my hearing. This was of course, in hindsight, quite a ridiculous thing to do! Not to mention how much energy I used just keeping up this facade!
My coping skills had begun from a very early age. I can remember sharing a room with my younger sister. I must have been seven or eight at the time. At night, when we were supposed to be sleeping, we would chatter and tell stories, as little girls do. Then, when I was ready to sleep, I would say to her, "good night now, I'm going to turn over to my other side, so I won't be able to hear you". She of course was only six, so thought nothing of this and it continued to be normal for me until a day at school when the nurse visited and tested our hearing. I was nine when my parents discovered, through this school hearing test, that I was profoundly deaf in my left ear and had probably been that way since birth. Surprisingly it took that long for me to realise what I had thought was totally normal, was in fact not how other children actually heard.
One of my visits to the doctors during those early years, stood out and was the reason why I had the motivation to have a BAHA. My mother was told by my family doctor my deafness was indeed unfortunate and perhaps one day, I could become like the "six million dollar" man, and receive a bionic ear. (This was 1975 when the Six Million Dollar Man and the Bionic Woman television series were at their most popular.) I always remembered the doctor's words and to the child that I was, the thought of one day being a "Lindsay Wagner" was quite exciting, but as I grew older it seemed just a silly dream.
After marrying my wonderful husband and giving birth to our two beautiful boys I was very happy and wondered whether hearing from my left side was really necessary. After all, I had managed well for 42 years. But there was still a small sense of dissatisfaction and ray of hope that I could get more. The journey of finding out whether something could be done, commenced about a year before I had heard of, or decided to have my BAHA.
In the year leading up to my BAHA decision, I changed the way I lead my life. After having gained about 25 kilos since the birth of my two boys, I decided to take control of my health and through a lot of hard work, exercise and a sensible diet, lost that weight. I even ran the 14 kms of the 2007 City to Surf, something I would have never thought possible. So having physically changed and feeling stronger and more in control, I started to think again about whether that Doctor was right back in 1975. Did a bionic ear really exist that could restore my hearing?
I had of course heard of Cochlear implants, but assumed they were for far more serious cases than mine. But through a casual mention to my wonderful family doctor, I received a referral to see Professor Gibson.
I remember the day well. In the waiting room I had convinced myself not to expect any magical answer, but the moment I heard Prof say, "Yes, I have something that might help you", I nearly fell of my chair and all of that hidden emotion, bubbled out as I began to cry at this wonderful news.
He carefully explained all the details of a BAHA, including the procedure. I remember thinking for only a moment that it sounded a little unpleasant. Before even leaving his office I had already made up my mind it would be worth it. The fact that I would be able to hear, like any other normal hearing person was incredibly exciting, especially having believed all my life that my situation was never going to change. On that day it really did feel like my life was about to re-start.
So on the 20th July, 2007 I had my operation and after just one night in hospital, arrived home and took a few headache tablets. Just a few weeks later, after what now seems like no time at all, I was fitted with my BAHA and "switched on". The sensation was overwhelming. I could hear everything. Too much at first, as my brain tried to cope with this new sensation of hearing from my left side. I recall driving home and playing my favourite CD in the car stereo. I could hear the music on a different level, more intense, with new depth and sounds.
But most of all I remember one fantastic feeling - I actually felt my shoulders physically relax and move down! I took a deep breath and realised I could stop working so hard trying to make sure I didn't miss out on hearing. I could actually relax and listen.
Now, the way I live my life is completely different. I have more confidence than ever before. I speak more confidently and listen more openly. I had always been a good listener, but now I have the time to absorb more and really listen and process what I am hearing, rather than using all of my energy just to hear.
My husband and I can relax more in restaurants and crowded social occasions. He doesn't have to watch out for me and tap me on the arm to let me know someone is speaking to me. I can walk with my children on either side, left or right and have a conversation. I can even hear my little six year old boy whisper into my left ear. My 10 year old has now gotten used to the fact that I squeak when I hug him. (My BAHA may feedback if in close contact with another object.)
The best thing is I can now relax and be me - and interact and listen to what the world is saying. I now fully appreciate and understand how much I had been missing out on.